Emergency Plan

‘Emergency Supplies Division, Ministry of the Interior, how may I help you?’

‘Yes, this is Klaas Lorum. I’ve crammed my cellar full with all the stuff you recommended, but I got a problem with it.’

‘How do you mean, sir?’

‘Well, you advise us to tune into the regional station in case of a disaster. I started practicing fanatically and now I have mastered the dialect well. But the newscaster on the regional station has a strange accent, I don’t understand a word he says. Besides, the people from here don’t speak the dialect either, they just make sounds.’

‘I’m having trouble understanding you, Mr. Lorum.’

‘The thing is, whisky apparently loses its flavor two years after opening. I bought three barrels for that lousy emergency kit of yours. It had to be finished and now I have a drinking problem. Could you maybe hurry up that disaster of yours?’